So something I've been thinking about a lot recently is how coming into this year abroad my attitude about things has transformed a lot and how that with every day I am gaining confidence and relaxing more. When I first came to Korea on this year abroad I had set my sights on becoming more fluent in the Korean language as well as making a tonne of friends.
These sound like realistic goals and you'd be right they are but, to what extent you want to push these goals is where you hit problems. Being in Gimhae has given me the opportunity to become truly independent as until just yesterday I didn't know any other non-Koreans (I don't really like the term foreigners).
I relied daily on the use of Korean language to communicate in class, with friends and everywhere else. It is true that my boyfriend is Korean but can speak English really well so he has been a great help to me, I was also assigned an international buddy at Inje University and Elly is really helpful whenever I get stuck with something like buying glasses or setting up a bank account, things that require a greater level of Korean then I am currently at. But seeing my boyfriend once a week because he works a lot and with Elly studying hard in the final year of her degree I am mainly in it alone as they say.
Now, this has caused me to hit a slump sometimes because containing your real voice, the language you are fluent in for too long can make you bottle up so much and sometimes have random outbursts of frustration. It can be as simple as being bitten by a mosquito and not being able to tell anyone because you don't know how to say it in Korean or wanting to find a hot water bottle and no one knowing what you are talking about (Lauren saved me on that one, thanks Lauren). My point is secluding yourself from others on your course (which I didn't do by choice I just wanted to come to this university) isn't an easy thing to take on, its hard to find someone else on your exact wavelength.
I found a language exchange group in Gimhae that had stopped meeting due to lack of attendance and so approached them about starting it up again, with a little bit of promotion and the kindness of the previous members we all managed to meet for the first time yesterday. At that meeting no two people were walking the same path in life, everyone was a different age, from a different country, had been in Korea a different amount of time and had different levels of Korean fluency and I really learnt to be so grateful due to all of them.
When I arrived here I took a level test for my entrance into Korean classes, I cannot deny I didn't prepare or study for them at all and my brain is like a sponge already filled with water so it struggles to hold on to anything I learn these days. I was put into Level 2 classes, now with my course being a bit competitive at times maybe some people would have been disheartened to hear they were being put in the grade that we should have already surpassed. However, I was more than happy to go over and get a chance to confirm my abilities with grammar I had already learnt as it is an opportunity to learn them with a new teaching approach and I had new and different books to study with.
It is important not to come to Korea and put yourself under the stress of achieving better than everyone else you know on top of adapting to a new country when in reality this year abroad is a chance for self-development, not solely academic progression. I made this mistake at first, I got myself down about how I lacked fluency in Korean, but I soon found that I was really happy to be able to follow the classes well and not have this ball of stress in my stomach about going to classes as well as dealing with all the issues I had with my one room, alien registration and bank accounts when first moving here.
The thing is not many people understood that previous to coming to Korea, I was not on a language intensive degree, my degree does not consist of the 12 hours of Korean a week I get in my university here. We have to write a lot of assignments and read a tonne of books during our degree in the UK we almost do not have the time and freedom to even study independently to become fluent in Korean, and that's okay the goal of our degree was never to become fluent in Korean for that we would have to attend a language school. So once I remind myself of that and take off some of the pressure I put on myself I can start to enjoy learning again.
In terms of the different aspects of learning a language, I have to say that Korean listening and speaking improve so much on this year abroad as you are fully immersed in the country and are always hearing Korean. In the UK you can get your writing and reading down but there are limitations on confidence in Listening and speaking as we are more afraid to make mistakes in front of each other and that's normal I think.
Once you stop comparing yourself to others and just focus on your own goals but making them realistic at the same time, you start to want to study in your free time and you want to push yourself. If you throw yourself into the deep end without a float and without having learnt swimming slowly then you're going to panic and feel like you're drowning in it all. Sometimes it's best just to be patient and not expect to be a strong swimmer the first time you hit the water. You also cannot go from armbands to the deep end without easing yourself up to it... that swimming analogy might be a bit weird but it's true if we see our friends swimming in the deep end and we've only used armbands to this point and we take them off and jump in with them, we won't look good for doing so and we will struggle it's better to see those in the deep end as inspiration for where you wanna go but make your way there in your own time.
This year I am going to better myself in in Korean, I will do it by making sure I pay attention and take my time in learning and not rush into wanting fluency. I am doing this for me, not my teachers in the UK, not my family and friends to show off, I'm just doing this for myself and once I realised that I felt a load better.
My advice for those coming here next year is just don't compare yourself to others, have your own clear realistic goals and don't care if they are not on par with others. Also do not expect a million friends and fast fluency in the language it's unrealistic but know that if you put yourself out there and try you can meet people and it just takes time.
Random unorganised thoughts but I hope you kinda get where I am going with them, until next time...
London Nuna
x
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